Empty

With this start of my last semester of college, I came in feeling… empty, for lack (pun not originally intended, but I love puns…) of a better word.

• Empty-headed, as my Biblical Languages class proves to require a leaps-and-bounds learning curve.
• Emptied of my energy, as I came off of a somewhat draining trip to San Diego.
• Often-empty email inbox, crossing my fingers each morning in hopes that I’ll hear from my man (who works night shift, and is stressed and sleep-deprived).
• I’m having a difficult time with the “job search” because I want to work with a ministry (somehow).  To get involved in any church or a missions-type ministry, I need to hone some of my skills and develop myself in new ways… by being involved in a ministry.

But there’s another side to everything happening.

• The same class is a huge blessing – I get one-on-one attention from one of the toughest professors in my department, and my Hebrew is going to improve by leaps and bounds.
• That trip to San Diego was phenomenal. I got to spend some very quality time with my soon-to-be-family. Since returning, I’ve been in tears more than one time because of the overwhelming love and acceptance I have received from David’s parents and siblings. Another blessing.
• Every email I get is a bit of insight into what David is doing, and how he is changing and developing as a leader and a man. Each line is a reminder that instead of getting a few extra minutes of sleep, he purposefully spends time “with” me whenever he can.  Another positive thing is the fact that I’m being forced into focusing more on my classwork and other challenges.
• I’m realizing more and more that I do have the skills I need to do what I want.  Even if I haven’t developed them fully, I know I’m capable and willing to do what it takes to follow God’s will.  Trusting Him with the unknown is more thrilling and satisfying than anything I’ve experienced (spiritually) in quite some time.

See, it doesn’t matter how “empty” I feel sometimes.  After a long, frustrating day of making (not very much) progress on reading and translating and note-taking, it is a huge relief to remember force myself to re-realize that I’m being blessed by these challenges.  And my heart is far from empty.  More than ever, I’m convinced that I am loved.  That I’m capable.  That I have so much to offer.  And that is what is driving me this week.

What’s been your motivation this week/month/year?

Love,

Be still…

I keep hearing this verse. I especially love the NET Bible’s translation. New and refreshing.
And I keep thinking what a good idea.
Prayer was so varied and drawing-in for me this summer, at my internship. I’ve lost some of that, partly because I’ve been spending the majority of my time in prayer… praying for others. There are so many people in my life right now who need people to stand with them in prayer. But that doesn’t mean I need to sit/lie down and list of prayer requests. So, I miss Virginia, where my team and I would gather as a small group and teach each other about prayer styles and we’d be encouraged as others shared their experiences of blessing. I miss Africa, where we’d gather as a team and pray aloud, all at once. When you and every one around you are praying aloud, the energy in the room is electrifying. I also miss Israel, where we’d say Shabbat blessings as a group, reading the Hebrew words from the page, because we never quite memorized them entirely. And, I miss my youth group days – the prayer chair. If I can take any piece of furniture from home to my new home this summer, I’ll take it. Laying hands on others and lifting up their concerns and sickness to the Lord is so empowering. So refreshing.
I can’t wait to be in a place where I can participate in prayer again – with others alongside me. I love this place, but it sometimes feels… stifling.
But, I’m looking forward. Looking upward. And, for now, I’m going to be spicing up my prayer life. Anyone want to join?

Going away again…

But only for a few days.
Just finished up BOWLING – my interterm class for January.
I have a lot on my mind, but none refined enough to share yet.
And, much as I really try to keep the mushy stuff away from Love, -
I miss my Navy.
This weekend could use some superhero saving powers… my brain is fried, and I’m running on “E.”
For now, though, you all have my
love

silence…

a lot has happened since i last posted. i’ve been to a few states, i’ve avoided grocery shopping and yet managed to cook meals from time to time, and i got engaged.
i could say that classes were overwhelming. they weren’t more than i could handle, though it was a tough and very involved semester. i could say that i didn’t want to blog. i kinda did, but i came to a bigger truth:
i haven’t felt like i have much to say here that’s worth saying here.
[...]
whew. now, i can’t promise that i’m back for good. i’ve been a wreck the last week and a half, because sleep and i hate each other right now and because the initial super-stress of being engaged and a wedding planner is just starting to fade.
i’m not going to post about wedding stuff. if that’s what you’re looking for, then you’ll have to call me or email me sometime. i will instead try to journal a bit of my feelings through my last semester at Taylor. a semester in which i am hoping to find guidance, strength, and clarity. i have a lot of changes coming up, and i’m finally in a place where i can trust God with whatever is dim or dark ahead of me. it’s a wonderful place. in the midst of a really trying present (and in the face of an incredibly difficult last semester), i feel so much peace about my after-Taylor future. i have [tiny] bits of direction and leading, and i continue to bow my head and search for so much more. excitement is most certainly the word that i feel in my heart. God is leading, and i’m so excited.
LOVE,

Travelers?

So, normally I give you a top 5. This time, we’re reversing… because I’ll be on the road and in the air for the rest of the day! What is your top (or bottom) 5 list for traveling!? It can be travel items, travel stories, travel places, or travel methods, or anything else you can think of. Ready? Go!