slim-jim

he’s not so slim anymore.

my brother james left for basic about a year ago.  some go through immense shock, pride, sadness, or any other given emotion when someone they love joins the military.  i’m not sure if i’ll ever know why, but it just seemed natural to me.  i didn’t experience much of a strong emotion when he “dropped me off” at my internship in virginia, because… well, because i’m confident in him.

and i still am.  sure, there are plenty of other emotions, pride included.  but mostly, i’m confident.  he has a good head on his shoulders, and he’s grounded.  even as he prepares to leave for a deployment in the middle east.  and if i could pick one (okay, two) thing(s) to pray for this week, it’s that God will move in jim’s life during this time of challenge and danger, and that he’d allow me to both be there for my brother before he leaves AND be here… for my husband as he comes home (i hope) from cruise this week.

because if there’s one thing i know about myself, it is simply this:

i love strongly.  both.  all.

here’s to the military, and all those who serve – but especially those close to my heart.

love,

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Top 5 – Santee

Once upon a time, I asked what y’all wanted to see more of on Love. One of the top answers was “Top 5″s and another was “Photos”! So… this post is going to be aimed at BOTH. Brace yourselves. For the top 5 things I enjoy about Santee, my new hometown (and my house)!

1. Our mattress – it isn’t much of a bed, yet, since there’s no frame at all (don’t get me started on the frame we ordered BEFORE we left Nebraska).
2. Friendly Grounds – lovely coffee shop that has live music at least once a week, a bulletin board with prayer requests / praise reports, baklava cookies and muffins, and coupons at the counter for free hugs.
3. Sunshine and great weather!  (And a huge TV for when I’m tired of the wonderful outdoors.)
4. Lots of places to go – everything is so close!
5. Save the most important for last: David lives here, too.  In our house.  Most of the time.  I like that.  Lots.

love,

Life Observation 2: No Good

I’m no good at anything.

Okay, that isn’t true.  I’m good at lots of things.  I won the State Horticulture Judging contest for 4-H and went to nationals.  I got high ratings on solos for both vocal and saxophone in high school.  I know Greek and Hebrew and Spanish.  I love to cook, and have been known to cook and bake some wonderful things.

But… I’m not fantastic at any of these things.  I can hold my own in a choir, and sight read music.  I can play saxophone, but I never bothered to practice any more than absolutely necessary (which wasn’t much).  My grasp of all those languages is minimal, at times, because I do not spend extra time studying.  The thought of cooking every night is overwhelming, because I haven’t had the time to perfect enough recipes (I have high standards for myself, especially since I have a lot of amazing cooks in my family).

When I was a kid, I took gymnastics lessons, tennis lessons, violin lessons, swimming lessons, etc.  I didn’t follow through with any of those.  I have an issue with follow-through when it comes to hobbies.  Or maybe just time-management.  I like so many things that I don’t have time to do it all.

I feel very deeply the desire to be excellent.  Not for recognition, particularly (though that is always motivating).  I want to be excellent at something for me.  So I can feel that I finally tried hard enough.

College has really schooled me in the fact that I am not really cut out for any more degrees.  Grad school requires a much greater level of self-motivation than I have.  My heart is ready to be involved in something big.  Ready to learn as I go again, instead of accumulating a lot of learning at once.

What are some things that you are good, but “no good” at?  Anything?

Going away again…

But only for a few days.
Just finished up BOWLING – my interterm class for January.
I have a lot on my mind, but none refined enough to share yet.
And, much as I really try to keep the mushy stuff away from Love, -
I miss my Navy.
This weekend could use some superhero saving powers… my brain is fried, and I’m running on “E.”
For now, though, you all have my
love

My story

Just before my 13th birthday, my Pa went to Ouagadougou (yep, I spelled that without checking!), Burkina Faso on a missions trip with my church.  He came back with souvenirs and photos.  Most of all, he came back with a heart for the people he got to know, and for the land of Africa.

Just before my 16th birthday, I attended an Aquire The Fire conference that advertised another branch of Teen Mania: Global Expeditions.  I was all over it.  They gave us a chance to go to a different part of the conference center to get information or to sign up for a trip, and I grabbed all the info I could.  I practically raced home to my parents with it, and was encouraged to pray long and hard about my desire to go to… guess it… Africa.

So, I filled out an application, and prayed, and the top country on my list of three was South Africa.

I had no idea what God had in store for me.

That month of my life was the best I’d known.  It was challenging.  It was stretching.  I learned, I grew, I made irreplaceable friends.  Every moment seemed rewarding, though there were plenty of frustrating and sad times.  I thrived while I was there.  I came back from the trip and cried myself to sleep at least twice a week for months, missing my new friends David and Charlotte, as well as the beautiful Africa that stole my heart.

2005 saw me back in South Africa, working alongside Thrive Africa, a (now) not-for-profit that strives to raise up Godly leaders.  I spent my whole summer cleaning, serving meals, ministering to both nationals and other Americans around me.  I fell in love all over again, and again, and again.  My heart was becoming increasingly entwined with the heart of Africa, and with my friends at Thrive.

2006 and 2007 were two more years of bliss that invariably mixed with hardship.  Each time I returned, the burden on my heart for the people of Africa was harder to bear.  I developed spiritually, I saw things that I’m glad I can never erase from my memory (though that gladness is bittersweet).

Africa still has my heart.  After all, Africa was where I fell in love for the first time.  In so many ways.